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God: "Her Desperation for Me Drew Me to Her"

By Victoria Boyson
Feb 23, 2004

The Birth of Your Destiny
by Victoria Boyson
$12.95 Book

God: "Her Desperation for Me Drew Me to Her"
by Victoria Boyson

"The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth
to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."
2 Chron. 16:9

I had a vision in which I was flying with God over the surface of the earth. We circled it at a tremendous rate of speed, causing everything on the earth's surface to appear as if it were one massive blur. Then, after some time we slowed down our flight and zoomed in to one lone woman who was on her knees crying out to God is desperation. I saw the Lord stand in front of this woman gazing down at her, but she did not seem to know He was there. As she prayed, the Lord breathed deeply to take in the fragrance of her prayers. He closed His eyes and raised His head; His chest heaved deeply as he inhaled the beauty of her prayers.

As He breathed in her prayers a radiant light began to emanate from inside Him. The light seemed to be electrified with waves of power surging through it. It burst out from Him and encircled both He and the woman in what seemed like a cocoon of glorious light. As I watched, I marveled at this remarkable moment and the Lord spoke to me and said, "It was her desperation for Me that drew Me to her."

In this vision, as we traveled around the earth straining to find someone whose heart was longing for Him, I felt the Lord's desperation. He was desperate to find one who was yearning for Him - someone whose heart was reaching out to find the One they love.

"They Want Me!"

I took part in a church service where the intensity of our worship was very high; you could feel the fervency of our longing for our Lord heightening. Many people were crying out to God in desperate anticipation of Him.

"Come Lord Jesus! You are welcome here!" they cried.

As our worship increased, our longing for Him intensified.

I felt in my spirit that the Lord was truly moved by our desire for Him. He spoke to my heart like an emotional bridegroom, "Look Victoria, they want me!" He was enthralled by our longing for Him.

I burst into tears with my head in my hands, not because I was sorrowful, but because He was so happy. I was delighted for Him, delighted to see His heart made so full by the sincere and fervent worship of those He loved so much. It was as though at last we were beginning to want Him as much as He had longed for us.

Our hearts were captivated by Him because we were suddenly made aware of our great need of Him and of the empty longing we had inside of us without Him. We felt His desperation and His love for us. We knew that He wanted to be with us and our response to Him was "Come!"

Who is it You are Looking For?

In John 20:10-18, John tells us of one whose heart was fully committed to the Lord. To Mary Magdalene, Jesus was not just the Savior of the world, but to her He was a friend. And to this woman who had lived a difficult, forlorn, and rejected existence, He represented hope, faithfulness and love.

He was the only one who had treated her with love and respect. He made her feel that she really mattered to Him. Instead of seeking what He could take from her, He poured His life into her, and so she loved Him.

When Jesus was crucified and buried, it was she who woke before the sun to run to His tomb (John 20:1). And it was she who stayed by His tomb crying when they could not find His body. When the two angels stationed at the tomb asked her why she was crying she replied, "'They have taken my Lord away,' she said, 'and I don't know where they have put him'" (v.13). She was not confounded by the sight of the angels before her. Indeed, her only thought was for her Lord.

When Jesus appeared to her she did not recognize Him.

"Woman," He said, "Why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"
Thinking He was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have put Him, and I will get Him."
(John 20:14-15)

Mary's Passion

Let's pause here for a moment and refresh our minds with reflections of Mary's relationship with Jesus. In Luke 8:2 we find that she was one whom the Lord had cast out seven demons and she followed Him from that time on.

She, in John 12:1-8 anointed Jesus for His death with expensive perfume and wiped His feet with her hair. Then, in John 19:25, we learn she was at the foot of the cross, and saw the one she loved tormented and killed.

I can not imagine what it must have been like for her, watching Him hang on the cross and then ultimately die. Imagine the dazed confusion she must have experienced. Questions rushing through her mind; Is this what He meant when He said something would happen to Him? Was this what He was talking about? She must have wondered if it was all a bad dream...or how it could possibly be happening to Him.

None of that seemed to matter at that moment. All she knew was that the One she loved was dying. Then He was gone, how could she go on without Him?

She carried all of this emotional heartache with her to the tomb on that Sunday morning.

Yearning only to see even just His lifeless form, she rushed to the tomb the very moment it was permissible. And when she arrived, she found more heartache still...His body was missing. This was too much for her to take; she could no longer bear it. Under the weight of her grief she broke down and wept.

Drawn by Her Passion

Jesus had yet to present Himself to His Father, but He was drawn by Mary's passionate grief for Him. So He went back to the tomb.

"Mary," He said in John 20:16.

He had planned to present Himself to His disciples in His glorified body, but He chose instead to appear first to this broken woman.

Not even His own mother, whom He dearly loved, would see Him first. But He first would appear to a despondent woman whose heart was in desperate pursuit of Him. However, she did not recognize Him... So He asked her, "Who is it you are looking for?" (v.15)

He knew who she was looking for; He did not need to ask her. Her passionate grief for Him was what had drawn Him to her, and Jesus wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to hear who it was she was searching for.

He wanted to hear her say, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him." (v.15) How her words must have revived Him. From the arms of His accusers, to the passionate pursuit of His friend.

She wanted Him desperately, even though she believed He was dead. "Just tell me where I can find him and I will take care of him." There was nothing she could do to help Him while He was on the cross, so she urgently wished to help Him now.

Jesus could stand it no longer, and in earnest He revealed Himself to her.

"Mary," He said.

"Rabboni!' she cried.

She had searched for His body, but she now finds Him whole. From desperation and agony, to exuberant joy! She had found the One whom her soul longed for.

In her passion, she lunged at Him, embracing Him. Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father" (v.17), but she could not restrain herself. The dark night that she lived through had passed, and her morning had come.

"I will be Found by You"

The Lord is looking for those who passionately seek Him, whose hearts are fully devoted to Him, who love Him. He is desperately looking for those like Mary, who in their brokenness, are in desperate pursuit of Him, who want to be with Him. When He finds one who is seeking Him, it becomes a fragrance to Him and He is drawn to them.

Our Lord is desperately searching over the face of the earth for those who long for Him. He wants to reveal Himself to them and to commune with them, to be one with them.

Our Lord promises that He will be found by those who are in passionate pursuit of Him.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:13-14)

The One your heart longs for will come to you! Turn your eyes toward Him, Beloved. He is desperate for you.

-Victoria Boyson

"The Birth of Your Destiny"
It Is Time To Give Your Life To Your Dreams

by Victoria Boyson
$12.95 Book

We are excited to announce the recent release of Victoria Boyson's new book, The Birth of Your Destiny.

God wants to give you a dream for your future and implant the seeds of destiny in your heart. Just like a baby hidden in the womb, so are the promises God has given to us. He speaks to us of our future, to conceive within us His will and purpose for our lives.

Giving birth to your destiny is a difficult and exhausting process, but inevitably your misery will turn into joy and you will produce the product of grace that you have always dreamed of. You are much too close to the end to give up now. How do I know this? You have this book in your hands. Experience an impartation of God's grace and faith to fulfill all that He has for you.

"The Birth Of Your Destiny not only instructs you about theological facts pertaining to destiny, but the fact that this book is in your hands tells me that you are well on your way to the fulfillment of your destiny. It will provide important keys to unlocking the fullness of God's plan for your life." - By Francis Frangipane

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