Desperation for Me Drew Me to Her"
by Victoria Boyson
"The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth
to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."
2 Chron. 16:9
I had a vision in which I was flying with God over the surface of
the earth. We circled it at a tremendous rate of speed, causing
everything on the earth's surface to appear as if it were one
massive blur. Then, after some time we slowed down our flight and
zoomed in to one lone woman who was on her knees crying out to God
is desperation. I saw the Lord stand in front of this woman gazing
down at her, but she did not seem to know He was there. As she
prayed, the Lord breathed deeply to take in the fragrance of her
prayers. He closed His eyes and raised His head; His chest heaved
deeply as he inhaled the beauty of her prayers.
As He breathed in her prayers a radiant light began to emanate from
inside Him. The light seemed to be electrified with waves of power
surging through it. It burst out from Him and encircled both He and
the woman in what seemed like a cocoon of glorious light. As I
watched, I marveled at this remarkable moment and the Lord spoke to
me and said, "It was her desperation for Me that drew Me to her."
In this vision, as we traveled around the earth straining to find
someone whose heart was longing for Him, I felt the Lord's
desperation. He was desperate to find one who was yearning for Him -
someone whose heart was reaching out to find the One they love.
"They Want Me!"
I took part in a church service where the intensity of our worship
was very high; you could feel the fervency of our longing for our
Many people were crying out to God in desperate anticipation of Him.
"Come Lord Jesus! You are welcome here!" they
As our worship increased, our longing for Him
I felt in my spirit that the Lord was truly moved
by our desire for Him. He spoke to my heart like an emotional
bridegroom, "Look Victoria, they want me!" He was enthralled by our
longing for Him.
I burst into tears with my head in my hands, not because I was
sorrowful, but because He was so happy. I was delighted for Him,
delighted to see His heart made so full by the sincere and fervent
worship of those He loved so much. It was as though at last we were
beginning to want Him as much as He had longed for us.
Our hearts were captivated by Him because we were suddenly made
aware of our great need of Him and of the empty longing we had
inside of us without Him. We felt His desperation and His love for
us. We knew that He wanted to be with us and our response to Him was
Who is it You are Looking For?
In John 20:10-18, John tells us of one whose heart was fully
committed to the Lord. To Mary Magdalene, Jesus was not just the
Savior of the world, but to her He was a friend. And to this woman
who had lived a difficult, forlorn, and rejected existence, He
represented hope, faithfulness and love.
He was the only one who had treated her with love and respect. He
made her feel that she really mattered to Him. Instead of seeking
what He could take from her, He poured His life into her, and so she
When Jesus was crucified and buried, it was she who woke before the
sun to run to His tomb (John 20:1). And it was she who stayed by His
tomb crying when they could not find His body. When the two angels
stationed at the tomb asked her why she was crying she replied,
"'They have taken my Lord away,' she said, 'and I don't know where
they have put him'" (v.13). She was not confounded by the sight of
the angels before her. Indeed, her only thought was for her Lord.
When Jesus appeared to her she did not recognize Him.
"Woman," He said, "Why are you crying? Who is it you are looking
Thinking He was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried
Him away, tell me where you have put Him, and I will get Him." (John
Let's pause here for a moment and refresh our minds with reflections
of Mary's relationship with Jesus. In Luke 8:2 we find that she was
one whom the Lord had cast out seven demons and she followed Him
from that time on.
She, in John 12:1-8 anointed Jesus for His
death with expensive perfume and wiped His feet with her hair. Then,
in John 19:25, we learn she was at the foot of the cross, and saw
the one she loved tormented and killed.
I can not imagine what it must have been like for her, watching Him
hang on the cross and then ultimately die. Imagine the dazed
confusion she must have experienced. Questions rushing through her
mind; Is this what He meant when He said something would happen to
Him? Was this what He was talking about? She must have wondered if
it was all a bad dream...or how it could possibly be happening to
None of that seemed to matter at that moment. All she knew was that
the One she loved was dying. Then He was gone, how could she go on
She carried all of this emotional heartache with her to the tomb on
that Sunday morning.
Yearning only to see even just His lifeless form, she rushed to the
tomb the very moment it was permissible. And when she arrived, she
found more heartache still...His body was missing. This was too much
for her to take; she could no longer bear it. Under the weight of
her grief she broke down and wept.
Drawn by Her Passion
Jesus had yet to present Himself to His Father, but He was drawn by
Mary's passionate grief for Him. So He went back to the tomb.
"Mary," He said in John 20:16.
He had planned to present Himself to His
disciples in His glorified body, but He chose instead to appear
first to this broken woman.
Not even His own mother, whom He dearly loved, would see Him first.
But He first would appear to a despondent woman whose heart was in
desperate pursuit of Him. However, she did not recognize Him... So
He asked her, "Who is it you are looking for?" (v.15)
He knew who she was looking for; He did not need to ask her. Her
passionate grief for Him was what had drawn Him to her, and Jesus
wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to hear who it was she was
He wanted to hear her say, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell
me where you have put him, and I will get him." (v.15) How her words
must have revived Him. From the arms of His accusers, to the
passionate pursuit of His friend.
She wanted Him desperately, even though she believed He was dead.
"Just tell me where I can find him and I will take care of him."
There was nothing she could do to help Him while He was on the
cross, so she urgently wished to help Him now.
Jesus could stand it no longer, and in earnest He revealed Himself
"Mary," He said.
"Rabboni!' she cried.
She had searched for His body, but she now finds
Him whole. From desperation and agony, to exuberant joy! She had
found the One whom her soul longed for.
In her passion, she lunged at Him, embracing Him. Jesus said, "Do
not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father"
(v.17), but she could not restrain herself. The dark night that she
lived through had passed, and her morning had come.
"I will be Found by You"
The Lord is looking for those who passionately seek Him, whose
hearts are fully devoted to Him, who love Him. He is desperately
looking for those like Mary, who in their brokenness, are in
desperate pursuit of Him, who want to be with Him. When He finds one
who is seeking Him, it becomes a fragrance to Him and He is drawn to
Our Lord is desperately searching over the face of the earth for
those who long for Him. He wants to reveal Himself to them and to
commune with them, to be one with them.
Our Lord promises that He will be found by those who are in
passionate pursuit of Him.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your
heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord.
The One your heart longs for will come to you! Turn your eyes toward
Him, Beloved. He is desperate for you.
"The Birth of Your Destiny"
It Is Time To Give Your
Life To Your Dreams
by Victoria Boyson
We are excited to announce the recent release of
Victoria Boyson's new book, The Birth of Your Destiny.
God wants to give you a dream for your
future and implant the seeds of destiny in your heart. Just like a baby
hidden in the womb, so are the promises God has given to us. He speaks to
us of our future, to conceive within us His will and purpose for our lives.
Giving birth to your destiny is a difficult
and exhausting process, but inevitably your misery will turn into joy and
you will produce the product of grace that you have always dreamed of. You
are much too close to the end to give up now. How do I know this? You have
this book in your hands. Experience an impartation of God's grace and faith
to fulfill all that He has for you.
"The Birth Of Your
Destiny not only instructs you about theological facts
pertaining to destiny, but the fact that this book is in your hands tells
me that you are well on your way to the fulfillment of your destiny. It
will provide important keys to unlocking the fullness of God's plan for
your life." - By Francis Frangipane
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