Self-Control: The Quiet Strength That Shapes Our Destiny
Have you ever watched someone lose something precious because of one out-of-control moment? A friendship broken by words that came too fast. A dream delayed because emotions took the driver's seat. We've all seen it, and if we're honest, we've all been there.
Those moments remind us that self-control isn't just about willpower; it's about surrender. It's the quiet evidence that the Holy Spirit is alive and working within us, producing fruit that reflects God's character, even when life presses hard.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." (Galatians 5:22–23 NIV)
When the Spirit leads, peace takes the driver's seat. When the flesh leads, chaos isn't far behind.
The Seeds We Sow
Have you ever noticed how quickly one small thought can grow? It starts as a whisper in the mind, becomes a word, and before long a pattern begins to form.
"Sow a thought, reap an action.
Sow an action, reap a habit.
Sow a habit, reap a character.
Sow a character, reap a destiny"
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)
It's amazing how often our private choices become public fruit. The things we water in quiet eventually grow tall enough for the world to see.
The Battle of the Body
Our bodies often tell the truth about who's in control. We can turn to food or other unhealthy habits for comfort or chase constant productivity and perfection to feel secure. But God never meant for us to be ruled by cravings or pressure; He invites us to live in rhythm with His peace.
Our bodies are living temples, dwelling places of the Holy Spirit. When we care for them, we're not just being healthy; we're honoring the One who made us. Sometimes it's as simple as taking a walk instead of scrolling on our phones or choosing rest instead of rushing. Those quiet decisions are actually acts of worship that strengthen us for the road ahead. (Photo via Flickr)
The Power of Words
Words build worlds. They can heal or they can hurt. Have you ever said something in frustration and immediately wished you could pull it back? We all have.
"The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint... Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent." (Proverbs 17:27–28 NIV)
Sometimes it's better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. That pause before speaking is often where the Holy Spirit steps in. He reminds us, "You don't have to say everything you think." And when we listen, peace stays in the room.
The Mind—Where the Real Battle Begins
The mind is the steering wheel of the soul. And in a world this noisy, it takes control to keep it centered. We all face days when our thoughts race, when worry gets loud and truth feels faint. But every time we choose to focus on what's good and true, we strengthen the Spirit's voice inside us.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8 NIV)
Peace doesn't always come instantly, but it grows wherever we keep planting truth.
Letting God Take the Wheel
There were seasons when I couldn't see a way forward. I tried to hold everything together: plans, people, and outcomes. But the tighter I held on, the faster peace slipped away.
When I finally whispered, "Lord, I can't, but You can," He began to untangle things one thread at a time—gently, perfectly, and in His timing. That's what real self-control looks like. It's not about gripping harder; it's about trusting deeper. (Photo via PickPik)
"Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled." (Titus 2:2 NIV)
Temperance isn't weakness. It's Spirit-led strength—power guided by peace.
Where It Shows up Most
Self-control isn't just for major life choices; it's for the everyday moments that shape who we become:
• Choosing grace when gossip invites you in,
• Stepping back when anger flares,
• Spending wisely when impulse calls,
• Speaking life into your family even when you're tired.
If you don't control your emotions and thoughts about your spouse, it can destroy the relationship. If you respond too strongly to your children in anger, it can become abusive and damaging. But if you're too lenient, it can spoil them. Control is balance.
I've learned that when we don't manage our emotions well, we can hurt the people closest to us, sometimes without meaning to. That's why managing ourselves matters so deeply. If we lose self-control, the right response is to take responsibility, apologize, and own it. That humility restores what anger or frustration may have broken. Each time we respond from the Spirit instead of emotion, we invite more of God's peace into our homes, our hearts, and our relationships.
The Fruit That Speaks
Self-control touches every part of life: spiritual, emotional, physical, financial, and relational. And it's not about striving harder; it's about staying closer. The closer we walk with the Holy Spirit, the more naturally His fruit begins to show.
When the Spirit leads our words, thoughts, and actions, we start to reflect Jesus, not perfectly, but authentically. That reflection changes everything around us. Because real strength isn't doing whatever we feel; it's choosing God's way when our feelings are loud.
The world is chasing control, but peace comes through surrender. That's where transformation begins, and that's how others see the evidence of the Spirit within us.
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Sherilyn Hamon-Miller
CEO of Christian International
Email:Â ci-info@christianinternational.com
Website:Â christianinternational.comÂ
Sherilyn Hamon-Miller serves as CEO of Christian International Ministries. Sherilyn Hamon-Miller also functions as the administrator and personal assistant to Dr. Bill Hamon. She is the only daughter of Drs. Bill and Evelyn Hamon, blessed with four children, two children-in-law, and seven delightful grandchildren. She lives in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida. Sherilyn's diverse experiences in business, ministry, and life have endowed her with unique insights into effective life management.
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